Pattern Recognition

November 13, 2007

Originally posted to ydnar.vox.com in November 2007.

Yesterday, two of my best friends got married. Like the other two weddings I’ve attended this year, it was notable for two reasons: The ceremony was officiated by a friend, and I was able to watch all three relationships develop from the beginning. It is immensely gratifying to see such good people who are so obviously right for each other decide to spend their life together.

At his wedding a few weeks ago, my friend Ted said “you wouldn’t invite a stranger to your wedding, so why would you invite a stranger to wed you?” There was a simple truth in that, one that is obviously appreciated by his wife Misty, as well as Jen, Jay and my other friends Jen and Oliver.

Last night, the number and breadth of toasts was staggering. There was practically a queue of people stumbling over each other to give a speech in Jen and Jay’s honor. This was supposed to be a toast, but after the 40th or so outing, the bride & groom cut it off so dancing & hot tubbing could begin.

On a single phone call in January 2006, I knew that Jen was right for Jay. Simultaneously with their star rising, mine was spectacularly cratering. I went from happy new homeowner, living with my girlfriend forming nascent plans for marriage and kids, to a complete upset with too many antagonistic altercations, lawyers and things that should have been left unsaid. The end of 2005 and the first few months of 2006 were the single most emotionally taxing period of my entire life. On that phone call, Jen offered without hesitation to let me stay at her place, dog in tow. Someone I barely knew, who had just started dating my good friend became instant support network. That is unequivocally awesome.

So thanks Jen, and thanks Jay. It was an honor &c to be a part of your wedding, and I hope, rather know, your lives together will be epic.